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About
ASHLEY COSTELLO
A Psychotherapist and
counsellor with more than
25 years of experience
global, specialising
in the mental health and
resilience of children and
young people.
THIS IS MY STORY,
A family breakdown that led to my own breakthrough
I was 16 when my dad had his first nervous breakdown. My world just fell apart. I had a six-year-old sister at the time who went to stay with relatives because we didn’t know how to talk to her about such a complex event. Looking back I wonder how we muddled through. It was an awful time.
One thing that came out of it though was my own personal desire to learn. I wanted to know what had happened to my strong, stable, and loving dad. How could he change so much and so fast? This was just before my A levels which gave me a naturally leaning towards choosing Psychology, which I continued to study at university.
SIX YEARS LATER, MY DAD HAD HIS SECOND BREAKDOWN.
This time I knew what to do. I understood what was happening, where to go and how to get help. My sister was now 12 and asking questions. Finally, I could answer them and it made the world of difference to everyone.
I am happy to report that my dad has made a full recovery and I continue to help children and young people just like my sister all those years ago.
FINDING MY PATH
After I graduated, I explored different ways to put my qualifications to good use. I have had various roles over the years including;
- Running corporate training teams,
- Head therapist in a group of international schools in the Middle East.
All these experiences taught me that even though my degree had finished, learning would last a lifetime.
People are the greatest teachers; they all have unique lessons to share.
TOO YOUNG TO BE A COUNSELLOR.
I knew that I wanted to do a job which allowed me to build deep connections; Counselling was clearly the next step in my journey. The problem was I was 22 when I made this decision.
Too young apparently.
I was initially turned down to join the Counselling course, due to my age. After a rather zealous appeal from my auntie (and greatest fan), I made it onto the course and became one of the youngest Counsellors in the country. She had shared my family background and explained that I had of lot of life experience for my relative tender years.
I have a lot to thank her for.
Of course, being the youngest on my course was intimidating but I just kept remembering my little sister and how I could help more children like her with this qualification. This memory is something that still keeps me going today.
MY TED TALK EVOLUTION
AND THE RESILIENT KID
In 2019 I delivered a TEDx talk on the topic of “Is Education broken?” The topic wasn’t about resilience as such but that was what people kept commenting on afterwards. It seemed to be the biggest take away.
I realised ~~this ~~ was what was missing from our education system and our society. When you mention resilience to people, many of them associate it with hardship. They think it stems from adversity and challenge. None of this is wrong of course but I want to help children to build their resilience muscle in advance so they are ready for the curve balls of life.
The Resilient Kid was born as a direct result of my Tedx Talk and continues today to provide counseling, training, workshops, and support for families, schools, and organisations working with children.
SO AM I A PARENTING EXPERT?
Hell no.
Yes, I bring my qualifications, experience, and skill set to each family I work with, but the real experts are the parents themselves. They know their children more than anyone.
I believe we are all simply here to walk each other home. (read that again… it’s powerful)! And as adults, we are just here to hold our kids’ hands and get them through this thing we call life.
With over 25 years as a psychotherapist, I can safely say parenting is hard enough without experts putting pressure on us. I support children, adolescents, and families with everyday struggles.
What I don’t do is sit here, barking orders and telling people how they should parent. After all, despite all my years of experience and qualifications, my own kids still teach me new things every day. This is a journey, and I am here to walk beside you as we all head home.
MY MISSION
Children and adolescents need to be seen, heard, and supported. If we don't, who will?
In a world where the pace is speeding up, more and more people are being left behind. We need to equip our children with their own superpower – Resilience!
Resilient Kids was created from knowing education is broken. But more than that, we knew the ‘reactive’ gesture of putting a band-aid on a deep-rooted issue isn’t going to help our children proactively prepare for what the world will throw at them.
