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In today's fast-paced and ever-evolving world, young people face numerous challenges that can impact their mental health, academic performance, and overall well-being. As educators, we have a unique opportunity to be a significant influence in their lives. Beyond delivering academic content, our role encompasses guiding, supporting, and inspiring students. This blog explores practical ways to support young people and highlights the importance of being that significant person in their lives.
Introduction
On Monday, I had a young client, let's call them Sam. What you need to know about Sam is they have an incredible passion for computers.
So, you might ask, why would Sam need the help of a psychotherapist? Sam developed anxiety, and their parents wanted them to be supported in their final year at school. They dreamt of going to a prestigious tech college, and little did I know that they nearly didn’t make it.
The Power of a Significant Teacher
In our session, I asked Sam who was a significant teacher in their school career. Now, some of you are probably thinking, like me—it’s got to be their computer science teacher, right? Well, you, like me, would be wrong!
The teacher Sam mentioned was Mr. Smith, who ran an after-school robotics club. When Sam's computer teacher went on long-term sick leave, they expressed their worry to Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith told them to get a specific programming book and go home and teach themselves.
The reason I’m telling you this is that there are many ways educators impact their students. Out of all the years Sam has been at school, it was Mr. Smith they thought of first. So I am sure you’d agree, that he is a significant person in Sam's life—but let’s hang onto that thought of a significant person for a moment; we will return to it.
The Role of Educators in Building Resilience
As a therapist of over 25 years, I’m fascinated by why Mr. Smith stood out to Sam. Mr. Smith had expectations of young Sam and gave them the responsibility for their own learning. Sam was brave, courageous even, taking this on. Many kids would have waited for a substitute teacher, but with Mr. Smith in their corner, they knew they could do it—or at least they were going to give it a go.
You might be asking, what has this got to do with resilience? After all, that’s why you’re reading this blog, isn’t it?
Let’s talk about resilience. Resilience isn’t about making our kids endure trauma to become stronger. We can build their resilience ahead of hard times by focusing on key components. I want us to change the way we think about resilience and talk about future-proofing our kids.
Future-Proofing Our Kids
True resilience, or future-proofing, is built on six key components: courage, empathy, gratitude, purpose, responsibility, and connection. These elements are essential in helping our kids navigate life's challenges. But we need to think beyond just resilience—we need to start future-proofing our kids!
Key Components of Future-Proofing
Courage: Encouraging kids to step out of their comfort zones helps them tackle new experiences and overcome fears.
Empathy: Fostering kindness, compassion, and stronger relationships.
Gratitude: Instilling a sense of appreciation for what they have can improve their outlook on life and build a positive mindset.
Purpose: Helping kids find meaning in what they do. Purpose drives motivation, engagement, and a sense of fulfillment.
Responsibility: Understanding the impact of their choices and developing a sense of duty.
Connection: Fostering a sense of belonging and emotional security.
Your Role as Educator
Here’s the thing—you are key. Yes, you reading this. Whether you’re a classroom assistant, teacher, headteacher, lunchtime supervisor, or caretaker—it doesn’t matter.
Science and my own experience in the 25 years I’ve been a therapist say one of the very best predictors for how any child turns out—in terms of happiness, social and emotional development, leadership skills, meaningful relationships, and even academic and career success—is whether they developed security from having at least one person who showed up for them.
It only takes one person to make a difference in a child’s life, no matter what else is going on, and YOU could be that one person. This might sound scary, but it’s exciting and fills me with hope. We have a front-row seat to future-proof these kids.
Practical Steps for Future-Proofing
Claim Them: Make sure students know they belong and that this is their class. Whether it's setting expectations, pictures on the wall, or the language you use, show them they have a place here.
Commit to Connection: When a student approaches you, give them your full attention. Ask them what they need—listen, help, problem solve, or let them sort it out.
Connect Before You Direct: Engage with students first so their brain is ready to listen. This builds trust and receptivity.
Building Confidence: Provide leadership opportunities, assign classroom chores, and encourage debates. These activities foster responsibility and self-assurance.
Instilling Responsibility: Teach accountability by having students clean up their messes, follow routines, and participate in class meetings.
Final Thoughts
As we finish, I think it's remarkable and transformational for us and our kids to change our language from “resilience” to “future-proofing.” My final thoughts return to Sam. They stepped up to responsibility, met expectations, and are about to embark on their journey to the prestigious tech college. Be a Mr. Smith—act as if you already are the significant person in that kid’s life, because you are, whether you like it or not. Fulfill your purpose, and take pride in your front-row view of the next generation.
You are not just educators; you are mentors, guides, and role models. Your influence extends far beyond the classroom. Embrace this role with passion and dedication, knowing that your actions today shape the future. Together, let’s future-proof our kids!
For more information or to have Ashley come to host a workshop in your education establishment email ashley@theresilientkid.co.uk
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